What do white swans, pink flamingoes and yellow ducks have in common?
If of the inflatable kind, a new H2O home at the Thompson Miami Beach.
Having just endured ten months of an exceptionally blistering cold New York winter, my traditional holiday research ahead of my recent trip to Miami was confined to The Weather Channel. “86 degrees feels like 92” was the only recommendation I needed to read.
Upon exiting Miami airport, the welcoming blast of my old friend, otherwise known as hot air of the non-subway vent variety, rendered the Fourth of July holiday weekend a success before it had even begun. What happened thereafter was simply a bonus.
Rocking up to the entrance to the art deco façade of the Thompson Miami Beach feels like stepping onto the scene of Miami Vice, minus the white suits and gaudy hair. The vibe at the Thompson matches the vintage show’s relaxed mod feel, with the oceanfront restored residential tower combining international hip with private access to a local black book street cred.
Banging beats compliment the surrounds of two adjacent, decent sized lap pools, which greet you as you make your way to the pristine white sands of South Beach. The appeal of a Granita-like frozen margarita is a magnetic attraction strong enough to temporarily interrupt your seaside adventure, compelling you to perch among the towering palm trees and bohemian-chic surrounds while sipping on your frozen treat, before making your way to the shore.
Though you’ll hardly spend any time away from some form of aqua mass during your time away from the concrete jungle where you otherwise reside when spending the days wishing you were back in Miami, when you do need to freshen up, the property’s Martin Brudnizki-designed rooms feature breezy, sorbet colored furnishings, with sunny geometric carpet complementing the amazing ocean view from your balcony or window. If opting out of the balcony option, a ‘Partial View’ room still provides a more budget-friendly yet still incredible vista of the sparkling waters below.
While the hotel itself is one giant hipster Instgram moment waiting to happen – during at which point you’re sure to ask yourself, ‘Just how many pool/cocktail at pool/leaving pool pictures does my account really need?’ – no filter is needed to enhance just how pretty, functional and enjoyable this resort really is.
On July 4, which staff informed me is the second busiest day of the year besides Christmas, the hotel put on a ‘Dirty BBQ’, which felt like being at a member’s only garden party – think a Vegas pool party, minus the frat kids ready to body slam shots off a stripper at 10AM, and more 100 of your closest friends dressed in red, white and blue, happily chilling out poolside with the occasional dip to cool off before grabbing a cold one to the latest Drake ditty.
Regardless, the pool shenanigans were a far cry from the urban concrete jungle that surrounds the crowded rooftop at former Thompson Hotels New York darling, since offloaded and rebranded as Sixty LES, in which a dip requires an industrial strength shower immediately afterwards for medical preventative reasons.
The traditional summer vacation trick of setting your alarm for 7AM reserve one of the highly coveted pool lounges needn’t apply at the Thompson, which has the business of deckchair supply/demand management down to a fine art. While the pool option provides the added fun of people watching behind the safety of your oversized shades, beachside was instead my favored spot to roast, with the cool breeze and easy lounge access allowing a couple of extra hours of nap time, because who really wants to engage in the sport of competitive lounge-grabbing after a night of cocktails?
An evening stroll along the quiet boardwalk provides the option of spending happy hour perusing hotels and other hotspots along the strip, before which you head back to the Thompson to check out the evening’s local act playing at 1930’s House, a Spanish-inspired guest house serving up delicious cocktails, wine and tapas. Over the holiday weekend, I was fortunate to see a live solo artist, rocking Cuban jazz band and an old-school hip hop turn style session.
To supersize your stay to levels so offensive to your Facebook account you’ll be forced to take pictures for – gasp – your own personal consumption, book a night in the luxurious ‘Oceanfront Grand Balcony King’. In addition to panoramic views of the glistening ocean, which serves as an evolving piece of artwork as you sip on a piccolo Moet while watching the sunset, you’ll feel the cool breeze in your hair as you listen to the soundtrack of soft Caribbean beats entertaining the stray swimmers in the pool below and the relaxing sounds of the waves lapping at the shore. Waking up to the view of the bright blue sea will leave you a confused hot mess as you momentarily wonder who pained a tromp l’oeil of South Beach on your tiny apartment’s wall. It’s an experience not to be missed.
To say that the Thompson and South Beach felt like I’d uncovered a hidden travel gem on the second busiest weekend of the year is testament to the slick operation at the hip, relatively new hotel (when so many other boutiques inevitably suffer an unwelcomed bout of teething problems as they iron out newbie opening kinks).
But how the beach empties at 6PM to provide you with your own private stretch of uninterrupted paradise is a result of either an inept Miami tourism board or the greater pull of the nearby Caribbean.
Either way, my fabulously relaxed and fashionable stay at the Thompson left me compiling 101 reasons not to hop on the plane back to New York. The only saving grace is knowing there will be a near-term return to my new favorite home-away-from-home.
Extra props must go to bell boy Ricardo, who saved the day in a real-life action adventure to locate my misplaced beloved Ted, ending with him plucking the little guy from the downward dog position amid sets of folded towels in the basket of a cleaning maid’s cart – much to her bewilderment – worthy of a side plot in the upcoming Ted 5.
As you begin your descent to New York to the tune of ‘scattered thunderstorms’ for the next 24 days, the only headache you’ll be nursing following a stay at the Thompson is where to store your five-foot high inflatable swan…
(NB: As an Australian native with a well-versed back catalogue of trips to Bali and other island abodes, please know that the waters of South Beach are really THAT good.)
